It’s a Trap! Be aware and escape

It’s a Trap!

How many times don’t we feel like that in a relationship?

Everything starts excellent; they are the ones, we tell everyone about how we found this incredible person, we get comfortable enough to open up about all our minor deep pains and secrets, then boom!

At the first opportunity, that one, so-called the one, comes and throws on our face whatever they think can be used to sustain their unreasonable arguments, for something that they probably do not even know why they are fighting for.

                                                        via GIPHY

 

Isn’t awesome?

Why is it fantastic because it can teach us valuable lessons that the universe can only see? We must learn to become better people, grow, and expand our spiritual and mental capacities?

At some point in my life, I have noticed repeated patterns, money patterns, relationships patterns, friendships patterns, and even a pattern in how I would treat myself.

For a person who likes diversity and experiencing new positive things, this was a lot of repetitive patterns.

I was sick and tired of it! I had to do something about it but wasn’t sure where or how to start.

So I started from the beginning: with me!

Outside circumstances are hard to control, and sometimes with specific people to set boundaries and demand the proper treatment we deserve, it can be even more complex moreover exhausting.

When I realized the things that had to be done -by the way I was a child still, I immediately shifted the way I looked at life, I never been a negative person or a victim, but I was for a long, long time, very scared and conformed with my reality.

Even though I knew that I was beautiful and intelligent, my mother always emphasized the opposite and how she disliked me (one day, I will tell you why I am still not sure about it 😆).

I felt that I would have to wait until I reached a certain age to have at least a decent life, where I could have friends, eat what I liked, be beloved, etc.

The shifts began in my mind, with the internal dialogue, and with time I got to reach not just the descent life I wish I have grown up, but a life full of fun, adventure, and blessings.

I was sick and tired of it! I had to do something about it but wasn’t sure where or how to start.

 

So what?

When we take the first step into interrupting specific patterns, our confidence will grow, as well our intuition. Thus the sense of freedom and accomplishment for practicing the true essence of self-love.

When someone loves you, or at least prepare to care about you, you will know right away!

Interrupting Relationships negative patterns

Now that we got down, what are my personal experiences with negative patterns? I believe that you might be saying, “ok, thanks, Bruna, but what are the relationship’s negative patterns and how to shift them?”

I never considered myself a relationship specialist. However, I have acquired a bit of knowledge that does not come just from my former education on human behavioral psychology and spirituality.

That is because I see every little encounter, longer or short ones, as an opportunity to learn. Yeah, some of these rendezvous might have ended up with lots of pain and regret, but each had so many beautiful, unique, passionate times.

We can not see everything from a regretful point of view. If we are honest with ourselves, everything is one way, but there are multiple angles to analyze a situation.

Here are some of the forms a Trap Relationship might play out:

  • Everything is too good to be true – well, this one seems to be very obvious, but sometimes we are looking so desperately for that life, that love a story, that we tend to see just what we want, instead then seeing things are they are. Let’s say that you are looking for someone that has a specific passion, as you do, and this person shows to share that same passion. Still, as the relationship starts to grow, you see that actually, for that person to do that little thing that first has brought you together is a burden for your significant one.
  • Extremely attention-giver partner – it’s so lovely when someone pays attention to the detail. Yes! We love it, we will feel loved and cared for, but then that is presented kindly of under a highlighted way, but then when looked closely, essential things such as respect and honesty are strongly missing.
  • Persistence in doing things for you – when we like someone, we will do something to make them happen, calm, reassured. So because we know those are great things to do, when you appreciate someone, you know that you enjoy as well be taken care of, anyway when the “don’t worry, I take care for you,” is just a form to keep you under their dependence, it is a significant danger. I can give you an example: I was dating someone who invited me to visit him; I agreed to go, packed my things, and went on a 27h trip to get there. But he did not mention that everything was so far from his house and that the car he promised to live at my disposal was broken. What? So because I could not rent a car – new driver rules, and to don’t waste money on cabs, I have to ask all the time for something or be at home the most of the day, because he would be working far (he said I could work with him, as a companion for the ride).
  • Insist in getting profound way too fast – when we are in love, everything seems beautiful and suitable, but let’s be honest, what is the real reason for the rush. Take the time to get to know each other more profound on a deeper level.
  • Defensive twists – some people show to be so understanding, but then little things seem to be upset them when we point out some of their flaws, and what they will try to blame you, or bring up something about you, that they have never mentioned.
  • Using kids and family members – nowadays we know many blended families, mother-in-law that loves their daughter or son in law, as their own, and that’s is a blessing for all the ones involved. However, don’t let anyone drag you too close to their own family or children if you guys just started. Because if you are a soul-guided person, you will feel the love and connection. Even if your partner is not that great, you might feel inclined to say, so you don’t lose the relationship you have created with their family and even be blamed for the pain you can cause by living.

What to do?

1- If your partner is a reasonable person, try to talk to them

2- Seak guidance and support

3- Make small, settle adjustments to regain your freedom and control

4- Do not confront. Remember to use the love communication tools

5- Walk or Runa away for your life, you are too precious, and no humans or animals should be caged. See this fantastic practical and spiritual break-up article here.

Whatever decision you make, please remember that the strength you need lies with you, and you can access and use it in your favor without fear.

 

Be Blessed 🙏🏾

 

We have covered only a few things. What else do you consider to be a sign of a trapping relationship? Comment below.

                                                                                        

 

 

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