Keep it to yourself: Secrets and Happiness
Too much not good, too less also not good
In our world, people terrorize each other either if one decides to have many friends or very few to none. Some of us don’t actually know what is the best at times because we are also figuring it out on our own.
To add to it, we have become more accustomed to living and kind hind behind our phone screens. With the pandemic, it became a normal practice to “socialize” from the comfy of our home.
Now with the restrictions being eased and life seems to be getting back to normal, our social animal is awake and craving to go out and meet old and perhaps new friends.
Some people as myself, who actually enjoy being at home alone, are regaining the will to engage in what I say useless conversations, just for the sake of entertainment, while others are playing skip at the street as they pass by any stranger’s face.
I am a lonely hunter who has nothing to do with me “hating humanity” or not engaging with another human. My lifestyle is a decision made years ago, based on several betrayals I found myself in.
I tended to make people my best friends, even part of my family, quite too fast. My need to help and save others got me in so many troubles, more than I can remember.
You can imagine what happened when I found myself always involved with people I let abuse me in all ways. It was my way of convincing myself that I was a good person by trusting them.
I trusted them with very personal information, which isn’t secret at all. Still, they are things that in the past would trigger me to a whole another level.
For example, I would share how I struggle growing up because of being not just neglected what to eat or wear by my own mother, but she would refuse to love me. What not just pushed me to start work at a very early age, raising myself to become an adult before 10 years of age, but on a positive side, pushed me to grow my worth, love, and confidence.
So, when these people I had shared it with would feel that I was “drifting” away from them, they would try to get me back into their graces – just because they needed something from me, and if I kept saying no, to hold me, they would point out how I have no one in this world, and how my own mother hated me (which is not true, is much more complicated than that 😆)
When I shared my stories, my intention was always to bring empowerment and empathy towards them, not to gain sympathy or anything alike.
What happened to me after so many tests and trials?
I keep my faith in people, especially those I have decided to love – including my mom.
However, I learned valuable lessons. Since I started to apply them to my life, I don’t have to wonder if all that betrayal or use me, don’t use me, will repeat itself.
Today I will talk about two very important, hard to put into practice. Still, we can all do it if we do one simple daily exercise: PRIORITIZE ourselves!
- Keep your secrets, secret;
- Don’t share your happiness.
Keep your secrets, secret.
I get that we want to build rapport among the people we come across, and most of the time, they show us that it is reciprocal, and they also make themselves believable.
Still, we gotta be clever on to whom we say certain things, how well you know someone to tell details of our past, and especially about finances and relationships.
As I mentioned earlier, not just deep secrets, but even little things that you might think is innocent and can’t do any harm.
For example, I have this friend; he knows my boyfriend is a few years older than me. So sometimes, when we went out together, and I start talking with some men, he would immediately come over and ask if I will sleep with that guy, or say things like, “oh, you and the grandpas, is really a fetish!”, which I find very disrespectful not just to me, but for the guys as well.
So my solution is to avoid hanging with this friend, and when I am to a very superficial level, I told him is not nice and unnecessary remarks.
Don’t share your happiness.
Just as you have drawers for your panties and t-shirts, you have to have the friends’ drawers separating what you can share with them, depending on their location.
That friend that works 9-5 can try, but because we are all humans, they won’t be able to be happy for your new business has taken off, and you are now able to make 6 figures from anywhere in the world. This is not how most of us are programmed.
Or when you come home, with that amazing successful and handsome boyfriend, and your bitter and single older sister is just watching you two giggling over nothing, from the corner of her eyes, and to make it better, you confined to her, he is the one.
Well, I am not saying to play dumb or miserable, but try to be neutral. People can smile at us but send all the spooky negative energy in our direction with their eyes and thoughts. Sometimes they do it unconsciously, but they do.
Use your intuition! Your soul will guide you to what and who you can be, honest or not. And if you don’t know how to use your intuition yet, visit my personal page here to get to know a bit more about how I can serve you, open and balance your chakras, and create the life you desire.
Schedule a FREE Discovery Call here, and let’s rebuild that trust, the inner confidence that you might have lost.