Can men and women just be friends?
In my so short existence on this planet, I learned a lot about myself, such as the fact that for me is easier to get along with more men than women. However, for some people, this is weird or unreal.
Of course, that I found some bump in the roads by trying to maintain those friendships because when somebody spends lots of time with one another, we might end up starting to have deeper feelings for that person, feelings that can create some form of emotional connections, that not always are mutual.
My partner and some of my friends, and even people in my family are a big NO NO’s on the male and female friendship. They strongly believe that if a man and a woman are friends, they have SEX. Yes, our huggest commodity, SEX!
And why is that?
One of my controlling, possessive partners told me that men only want to fuck, and they never mean good. They don’t care if that woman is happy, bored if she likes him or not.
So the guy only stays as a friend, hoping that she will eventually notice him and they two can spend some “quality” time together.
One of my good friends told me that he fucks 99% of the ladies that cross his way, and besides myself, he has only one another girl that he hasn’t have sex with yet, and he is aware that we two are rare girls in his life.
Am I shoked?
I refuse to believe that we are rational beings who cannot separate the people we like to spend time with, for simple great companionship and a good time, from the people we would like to have intercourse with.
It seems a bit shallow and immature, in my opinion.
How is that?
It’s like a hunting game, where everyone is a victim, and we switch places from time to time from prey to hunter and then from hunters to prey.
In my life, I came across men and women that one way or the other, tried to take advantage of me, but as I learned with lots of practices and understanding of human behaviors, that no one could take advantage of us if we don’t let them to.
It’s a choice!
And even though my current partner is one of those that has some doubts about the opposite sex friendship, the way I found to make him secure is by keeping my male friends, because yes, they might have a different intention with me, but I decided to give in to it or not.
I also feel that the main thing is to create boundaries in the friendship and make clear your aspirations and goals. For example, I can tell you that I often have people approaching trying to get a piece because I am attractive. Hence, I make clear that I am not emotionally or physically available to anyone at this moment or shortly.
You don’t have to be so cruel or direct as I am, but you can gently make the other person understand what your intentions are, and if you are standing on the other side of the fence, you will be the one to respect those boundaries, without resentment.
Neither gives expectations to people by making them believe that they have a chance; we are not here to play with others’ feelings; we must treat people as we would like to be treated.
Many ladies and gents like to use their charm and power and give this false illusion to others. Of course, it is their choice to behave this way, but I am saying here is to be careful with other people’s feelings and emotions because it might damage them more profoundly than what we believe.
From time to time, the wholes might change. It is life. However, when we act from pureness, compassion, and empathy, it makes it easier to be a good friend with each other, without an agenda, a goal, or expectations.
I don’t want to change anyone’s mind in here, but it is just annoying that if I seem to be talking to a man, someone will make a sex joke on the spot or later on, such as “you and … together? Hmm, nice.”
It frustrating because as I am a very sensual woman, it does not mean I sleep around with everyone.
Know what you want and what you do not want!
I am not a prude or an angel because I don’t really enjoy random sex with strangers, but I love a good laugh and make friends, easy, simple friendships.
Over the years, I have grown so much in my mind and my soul that I am more than aware of what is a Friendship, Fuck Friend, or a Night Stand is, and what I want or not.
Should we get more educated on the different concepts? And maybe change the way we look at people and circumstances? Or will it always be a Hunting Game?
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