My partner cheated on me – revenge time!

Who never ever, been cheated?

Maybe you are on the side of the coin, and you are the one who have betrayed your partner, then this article is not for you. (JK)

Statistics

According to According to the General Social Survey, “twenty percent of men cheat compared to 13 percent of women.”this only in USA alone. The numbers might look small, but imagine it in a worldwide scale, and count the hidden cases, the number are and become more worrisome.

Now in Brazil a research made by Psychiatric Hospital Institute of the Hospital das Clínicas of USP (Sao Paulo University), called Mosaico 2.0, says that 40,5% of the Brazilian population have cheated on their partner, out of these percentage 50,5% are men, meanwhile 30,2% are women.

I am not really sure, and could not find much details on how exactly these researches were made, because I was never asked about it.

Answering to you my readers, I can say that I have never cheated on any of my partners.

 

No I have never cheated, even thou I was several times accused of doing so.

Reasons to Cheat

Now why does people cheat?

Look, there can be plenty of reasons for that as we all know, I will list some below:

  • Lack of attention;
  • Self-sabotage
  • Ambition;
  • Boredom;
  • Need for validation;
  • Pay back;
  • Insecurity;

As I said it can be exist much more reason, but I know for a fact that everything can be an excuse”for betraying someones trust.I don’t believe that there is enough research to show the reasons why humans do things to hurt those that vow to love.

In my ordinary and insignificant opinion I would say that any form of betrayal are result of lack of respect and bad character people. YES, it sounds harsh I know, but as I said it is my opinion, the opinion of someone that has being cheated in all the sense of the word.

Affairs Types

According to the dictionary Merriam – Webster, Infidelity means:

a: the act or fact of having a romantic or sexual relationship with someone other than one’s husband, wife, or partner

b: unfaithfulness to a moral obligation : DISLOYALTY

Are there some that believe that there are 5 to 7 types of infidelity, I have decided to list the ones that I believe to be more common, and relevant at this moment. Let’s see it next:

Emotional Cheating

This happens when you get close to someone that is not your partner. Uhh, yes it is a form of betraying, when instead of going to your partner for emotional support, and share your most intimate problems, fears or desires to a “friend”, in a sustainable and very deep form. Not involving intimacy, commonly being a unilateral decision.

In this form of betrayal, its common to the original partners grew apart, and create a weaker relationship.

 

Sexual Cheating

Sexual cheating, happens when one of the partners seek sexual intimacy with someone out of their relationship. It does not matter the reason why he or she did it, its a form of betrayal.

Seeking intimacy with someone that is not your current partner, with or without their knowledge can bring serious physical, and mental consequences for both involved, regardless of the reason why that happen, with whom and the circumstances.

 

Financial Cheating

When comes to money, a relationship can take a huge turn.

Either by hiding assets, misusing one partners finances, or even not caring financially to your partner when in need, can be considered financial cheating.

That is because one is only focusing on gain personal financial benefits, without giving a damm to the future consequences to the relationship, to the family present or future.

 

Revenge Cheating

A very common type of cheating, is the revenge one.

I know many good people, who had their ego hurt, and have decided to seek revenge, so they could feel equal, or somehow “superior”as if it was a competition.

This one, I think is the most stupid one, because it just shows how pathetic you are, and probably did deserved to be betrayal at first. How can you be better than someone, if act exactly like them?

 

Consequences

As everything in life, cheating has it owns consequences, that may vary from case to case of course, but what normally happens is both are hurt, both are broken and shattered. And some of the times, not just both, but depending on how it goes, the third, fourth or fifth person can also get hurt.

Hurt, can come on the form of regret, shame, brokenhearted, sadness, and many other emotional that all involved will have to carry as self judgment first of all – let’s not even go into the social and moral judgement.

In some cases, things can be worse, and become dangerous, some people might look to revenge by physically hurting one or all of the ones involved in the affair.

So what to do?

I would never tell you what to do, but because I like to tell people what to do, I would say: Fix it!

If you know you want to cheat, or that you’re prompted to do so, refrain from situations that might bring you to act on it, as I said it does not matter the excuse, just do not do it.

Because, if you do love someone from the bottom of your heart, you won’t hurt them, you will try to fix the relationship, by coming closer, opening up what is that you are struggling with, make the necessary changes to your mindset, and to your habits.

As for you that were cheated on, there is only one way out – FORGIVENESS!

I am not saying to stay with someone who constantly jeopardises the relationship you have, neither to leave them. Regardless of, what you do, you gotta have to forgive, because this is the only way for you to life, without fear and difficulty to trust again.

Check out our blog on how to learn to forgive and move on here

 

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