Sex and Sexuality demystified


Those who know I am originally from Brazil, a country known for its beautiful women, warm weather, happy smile, and SEX!

However, in this actual trip back home, I found that the people, especially men in Brazil, grew their hypocritical idea about single women. If she wanders alone around this world and has her independence is sluts or cheap and easy to get.

What a fallacy! 

I had my share on the path of wildness, which I do not see as an issue, but an appreciation of my body, soul, and self-love as well.

Sex vs. Sexuality

Let’s go back to the topic.

The difference between Sex and Sexuality is straightforward to explain but not so practical.

I will explain it on my terms:

Sexuality involves our physical, spiritual, mental aspects. It can be spoken from a health perspective, scientifically, educational, emotional, and even religiously. I agree with some studies that say that we have five aspects of Sexuality, which are: sensuality, intimacy, identity, behavior and reproduction, and sexualization.

Meanwhile, Sex is less broad. It is the act of having sexual intercourse. 

Where is the issue?

Even thou was easy and straightforward to differentiate one from the another. Somehow, our mess-up society has managed to create a problem around something so simple, natural, and beautiful.

Nowadays, many schools forbid or control the need to have sexual education at schools. They result in more and more ignorant kids becoming adults without preventing simple STDs or unwanted early pregnancy.

Then comes some religious beliefs, saying that the only Sexual Education we need comes from them. And that sex before marriage is a sin worthy of the goodness punishments. The man dictates what to do in bed and that a woman cannot have an orgasm. If you do so, you must get an exorcism; even worse, those that preach that sex is only for reproduction.

And other crazy people believe in being experts in such a topic. Even thou haven’t done much themselves.

This conversation is the subject of many studies, books, articles, debates out of the public eye. Stopping our children from harmful influences, the men do not feel it’s ok to go around and fornicate, and the women do not enjoy their much their coochie.

The thing is that both are interconnected, Sexuality and Sex exist hand in hand. Creating particular fear, punishment, or making it difficult to access can be much more dangerous than we think we know.

That is because it is in our nature. We have specific hormones, smells, cycles in our lives that come out naturally for the simple necessity of achieving one goal: have intercourse. To fecundate and procreate is a secondary necessity that in history became prioritized for simple, economic reasons.

We do not have to make a babe or get married when we have a sexual encounter. Just as much we do not have to have penetration to reach orgasm- but this is for another topic.
The same church says that their ministers and preachers should be single and live just for serving God. Teaches that ” Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” 
Genesis 2:18

Is me, or is this a “bit” contradictory?

Why do we have to live life according to their teachings to do whatever is convenient to their institutions?

And could we relate this biblical passage as one of the reasons why is there so many cases of abuse and molestation? 

Defocusing

In recent years, the main discussion about Sexuality revolves around the LGBTQ community, which keeps fighting for their equality, and rights.

They battle daily to overcome discrimination and have their gender recognized or their name changed.

We can learn a lot with them because look at the “straight folks” being judged and reprimanded for just saying their likes and dislikes. And what they do? They suppress these feelings and desires to keep up with an acceptable appearance in front of the community.

We can not exhaust the reasons why these natural subjects are still taboo.

How to change it?

1- Learn

Educate yourself through books, podcasts, blogs, conversations with friends, or someone you feel comfortable with. Ask questions, use this beautiful thing called: INTERNET.

Do not wait for the educational system to fail your kids, just as it has failed you. Turn Sexuality, a regular topic, talk about respectfully, and sex is a beautiful natural thing.

2- Know yourself

The only person that can represent you is yourself. The way to do it is by owning your personality, what you like as part of your beautiful self.

Do not give your sexual power to anyone else. You say when, why, does, and don’ts. To get to know yourself, try journaling, meditations, contemplation, and if necessary, a third person might be able to assist you in discovering yourself.

 

3- Communicate

Do not fear to speak about your likes and dislikes to your partner. If you can not do it, then watch out.

Not just you must say what comes to your mind about your limitations and desires. But you have to be mature enough to listen to your partner without judging or mocking them. 

Respect and empathy are essential components to a healthy relationship of any kind, mostly a sexual one. Just as you do not want to be called a perv or a creep, neither is your partner.

My own thing

My sexual experiences began at a very early age. I was touching myself, exploring, having some of my girlfriends, opening my mind to do so.

However, my first sexual experience with a Brazilian girl came a bit late, on my 18 birthday. And having lost my virginity to someone who became very possessive and aggressive, I decided to be my person.

I remember saying to him, ” Now that the door is open, I will let everyone in!”, he slapped me for that. Still, I moved on and embarked on a journey full of fun, trials, errors, sweat, cultural and flight tickets.

All I wanted was to try everyone, anyone, every time, just because I enjoy being touched, make somebody and myself orgasm.

I did all this awareness of the possible risks and focused on the winnings: Sexual Exchange, or maybe I should call it Human Exchange because it is a way to learn, evolve, and teach about actually being a human.

What are your thoughts about Sex and Sexuality? Leave a comment.

Be the first to Read my New Book – Sexual Exchange when it is out, and get to know why I became a Taught Leader in Practical Sexuality and Healing it is traumas!

 

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